(This was originally a Facebook post as “Nova Biscotti” on October 6, 2018. I have never knowingly read these anywhere else, but I apologize in advance if this feels like a ‘repackaging’ of others’ timeless wisdom.)
The 5 Stages of Forgiveness
1. Face the truth of the situation without emotional bias. This is applied no matter if you are the person who has wronged another person or if you are the person being wronged. This means understanding personalities, circumstances, and also unseen influences such as negative entities or quantum anomaly.
2. Regardless of your role in any situation, forgive yourself before all else. This will clear your energy bodies of any negativity, and allow you greater clarity into the true nature of the imbalanced situation. If you have done wrong, you will find it easier to admit wrongdoing if you have forgiven yourself… and if you have been wronged, you can forgive yourself for any negative thoughts or emotions such as anger, guilt, shame, etc.
3. Forgive the other person in the situation. If you are the wrongdoer, this may seem bizarre, but one must be prepared for the power of the negative emotions of the person you have harmed. They have every right to feel these emotions and process the situation as necessary. Emotions are energy, and healing any situation of wrongdoing requires an emotional release for rebalancing and harmonizing the situation going forward… it is your responsibility to allow the person you have hurt to express themselves as a catharsis.
If you are the person who has been wronged, forgiveness is not necessarily absolution of their crime or injustice. It is rather a complete severing of your energetic entanglement with the perpetrator. Forgiveness is most importantly a step in your own healing, and will help you along your own spiritual evolution.
4. Give the other person the energetic space to forgive you. This is the complement of step #3, but this step is uncomfortable because it involves complete surrender to the emotional processing of another person. What you want to occur instantly may take years, or you may face years’ worth of anger in the span of minutes. Be careful what you wish for – you just may get it… or you may get the complete opposite.
Release all expectations in this step – especially regarding time. Emotional time is different for every person, which brings us to the final step:
5. If you find that the other person refuses to forgive you or ‘never bothers to make the time to forgive you’, the final step in your personal healing is to forgive the other person for ‘not forgiving’. This is the final step of energetically severing yourself from the emotional entanglement of a given situation. This is not always a necessary step in every healing process, but it is one which may be required if the other person’s lack of spiritual growth is creating energetic stagnation.
The universe is a dynamic, open system where energies are shared, balance, transferred, transformed, and renewed continuously. This occurs not just with observable phenomena but also on planes of existence which cannot be directly perceived by us.
You have a right to grow spiritually, and sometimes it is necessary to move on from a situation where one person refuses to grow.
The process of ‘forgiving those who do not forgive’ is our final energetic release from such stagnant situations, and it frees us to pursue our spiritual journey according to the path desired by our higher selves.